Attack of the Fangirls
by OllieOfFreeOxen
Summary: There is a force threatening all people of the Caribbean. Chaos runs from the streets about these girls that drop from the sky, obsessed with trying to find the sexy Jack Sparrow. But, why? How? And who made them so freaking perfect? OneShot, Pre DMC


A/N: This is for all you awesome Pirates writers that don't get enough credit for being awesome.. and using correct grammar. Note that rating is just for slight swearing, and I don't mean to offend anyone with this story. No, actually, that's a lie. Heh. Please enjoy!

* * *

For the third time in five minutes, Admiral Johnson peeked through the curtains of his office with bugged eyes and a pale face. The sun had just hid behind the horizon, yet no candles were lit and the only light was the dim glaze of orange that came from the windows. 

"Admiral," greeted Commodore Norrington. He did not like to waste time on such things as describing beautiful sunsets.

Johnson turned from his point of interest, but still stood by his grand oak desk. "Excuse me for my being distracted." He certainly did look distracted. His breath was quick and his eyes darting back to the window every few moments. "Norrington, I have called you here to direct your attention to a threat that has been directly threatening Port Royal. Jack Dove can certainly wait a short time longer until this situation is cleared."

"Sparrow... His name is Jack Sparrow," Norrington corrected, but sucked in his breath and added, "Please excuse me, Admiral. You may continue." Normally, he wouldn't be so rude as to interrupt a superior.

Johnson ripped his stare away from the windows again. "Yes, but of course," he said in a bland, automatic voice. "But, this circumstance must be attended to immediately. It has been going on for quite some time, though the effect of them will soon cause full pandemonium throughout the streets. They must be ceased now, do you understand?"

"Yes, Admiral."

"Good. Now, take a pen and write this down," he commanded, and Norrington only took a few moments to scramble for a blank piece of parchment and pen to write on a corner of that grand oak desk. "You are looking for females, aged between twelve and seventeen-"

"Admiral, I must interject," excused Norrington. "But adolescent girls are causing a regional threat? I came all the way from-"

However, Johnson would not listen. "Do you dare doubt my decisions?" Norrington wouldn't. He bit his lip, dipped the pen into the ink, and poised himself to write more. Johnson continued. "Twelve and seventeen, although, usually older than not. Caucasian. Of petite size in build and in height. Long and vibrant hair. Could be any color. Eyes most likely a bright blue, green, gray, hazel, or violet. Most importantly, they arrive wearing exceptionally strange clothing. I would say a cotton shirt of any color and blue trousers. However, many have acquired a dress and take the look of a commonplace woman. Also, you would want to note that they may excessively use odd language, especially the word 'like'."

Norrington finished his notes, although it vexed him so. "Excuse me yet again, Admiral, but one of the only things that stop me from arresting all females between those ages are the blue trousers. Is it a sign of their cult or have men's clothing been in fashion in their country?"

This time, Johnson took a deep look at the Commodore and said, "Norrington, I have heard accounts from a few concerned townspeople. They claim to be from the future, but their future is horribly distorted. The pirates are idols, and-"

"I did not stop my pursuit of Jack Sparrow to be a witch hunter!" hissed Norrington.

"Commodore, I will ask you to not interrupt again," bellowed Johnson with even more ferocity. "Corruption. That is what these young women are creating. Their only goal seems to be meeting and joining pirate crews, but they have become somewhat worse than some of the actual pirates, creating a completely new group. People are talking, and people are worried. With the extra support the pirates are receiving, it could renew the lawless age that we have tried so hard to destroy. Do you understand now?"

Truthfully, Norrington did not. How did they become so enthusiastic to side with the pirates anyway? They only were small women, no less. However, he decided that even the Admiral did not know the answer to this. "I do, Admiral, but I only have one question. These people, what are we to call them?"

The Admiral took his eyes away from the curtains yet again, but said, "They call themselves... Fangirls."

---

Going witch hunting, or going "Fangirl hunting" as the Admiral insisted was not something that Norrington wanted to do. He wanted to be on the sea hunting down someone worth finding, not to be arresting random girls and hoping that they were part of the cult. Additionally, he was patrolling the streets of Port Royal, which was not what he signed up for the Navy for. Yet, the night was becoming cooler and Norrington had the pleasure of guarding a quiet road.

"You carry it in your pocket? That's insane!"

Obviously, it was not quiet enough. Norrington slowly stopped his walk and casually sneaked closer to the voice. It was the voice of a young woman. Perhaps capturing one Fangirl would earn him a good night's rest.

"Yeah, always. Never know when you meet some editor who might want to publish your writing, right?"

This time a different voice, yet still one that could very well be of another. The Commodore neared the corner, but stayed close to the wall.

"But, here? Dude, we're in the Eighteenth Century. Who's going to publish it here? Plus, it's just fanfiction. I mean..."

Their strange language confirmed it; they were Fangirls. Norrington looked about the corner and could see the two of them, but the lack of light prevented him from seeing too much. However, the Fangirls did have long, wavy hair that went all the way down their back and were wearing beautiful dresses that were too large for their figure. He figured that they were stolen.

"Yeah, but still. You know the rules. You get sent here with everything you're wearing, and I just happened to have it in my... Hey, did you hear that?"

Norrington held his breath. His curiosity was growing at the sound that they were things like "rules" in their cult. He thought that rules would be the least of their minds.

"No, I didn't hear anything. You sure?"

He let his breath go.

"Yeah, I'm sure. It was coming from over here. Oh. My. God."

Norrington could now completely see the second girl of the conversation very well for the mere fact that she was staring right at him. Through the moonlight, he could clearly see that she was short and petite, possibly aged fifteen, with vibrant red hair even in the dark. Yet, he just stood there and she did too. They just stared at each other with big, surprised eyes.

"What is it? Oh, holy shit." The first girl came now, and put herself beside the other. This girl was shorter though, and looked to be a year younger with dark black hair. She, too, just stared in that oversized cream-colored dress.

Then, the girls began to talk as all girls would. "It's Norrington," proclaimed one.

"Really? But, he looks too attractive."

"Norrington has always been attractive, but through his military experience, he learned to not show any emotion and therefore does not seem attractive at first glance. This is also why Elizabeth didn't marry him, because she thinks he's just a dumb rock with no feelings when he really does have great feelings for her. Not to mention that marrying her would give him a greater social status. I read it in the Visual Guide."

"Oh."

Between this incredibly awkward conversation, Norrington took a breath, and for a moment, wondered if he should arrest them at all. They looked so innocent, really. He didn't think that he arrested more than five women ever in his lifetime, and these were barely women. Plus, it was quite frightening that the girl was completely right about him and his emotions. It was too frightening, actually.

So finally, he spoke, "Excuse me ladies, but it is in my orders to arrest you."

"Oh shit, run!"

At the same time, the girls darted off down the street. Naturally, Norrington followed them. He figured that it was unlikely that they could outrun him, as he knew the town as good as anyone. However, he found that they could run relatively fast even though both in loose-fitting dresses and unbearably uncomfortable shoes.

He chased them for what felt like a quarter of an hour, getting closer at the straight stretches of road. One would look back ever so often, but Norrington mostly had his eyes set on a pair of heads with red and black hair trailing behind them. However, this was short lived because the girls discovered the pattern and tried to make as many turns as possible. This resulted in them being trapped in a dead end.

They backed up against the wall behind them, mouths gasping in fresh air, which was exactly what Norrington was doing as well.

The black-haired one (who was obviously more athletic) kneeled down and folded her hands at him, pleading, "Oh please Mr. Commodore-Norrington-thing, don't kill us, please! We're not bad people!"

"Idiot, he...he's not going to... kill us. He's just going... to arrest us," made out the redhead through long breathes of air.

"Then why were we running?"

"Exactly my question," said Norrington, who was now fully rested. "Ladies, truthfully, it isn't my choice. This is all on Admiral's orders. So if you please, I would not like to knock you out and have someone drag you to his office. I would much rather that I would guide you to the office while you're still conscious. Which would you like?"

They looked at each other, shrugging. "Consciousness, please," said the redhead.

So, Norrington searched them down for any sort of weapons that they might kill him with, but found none except a few pieces of folded parchment in the redhead's pocket. He hadn't known that dresses had pockets. "What's this?"

The redhead looked horrified. "It's mine. Don't read it, though. I'm like, seriously warning you."

Norrington gave her a bland look and unfolded it. The parchment was uncommonly white and had a printed text on it. So, he was practically required to read it out of duty about this Fangirl cult, of course.

It was quite long, but he kept reading with a confused look on his place. The girls watched him. Soon after, the look changed to pained, then to surprise with high eyebrows, yet he still kept on reading.

Both of the girls were surprised as well, but waited for Norrington to finish. After the surprised look, there was another surprised look in a higher degree with a dropped jaw and total bewildered interest. A few seconds after that look appeared, he fainted.

The girls were giggling with delight, and the redhead grabbed her story as they left, all the while saying, "Oh man, you gotta love Sparrington."


End file.
